I had a really great weekend with my son. I love spending time with him and truly cherish all the times we have together, but I really felt connected to him this weekend. I felt like I set a few more boundaries for him this weekend. I know kids do well with boundaries, but could that really be it? My roommate also noted we didn’t play any video games this weekend. But we don’t usually play a lot of games anyway. We did go to a yoga festival together. Or rather, I dragged him there while he asked why we had to go, for the entire drive. And by the time we got there the temperature had dropped almost 20 degrees and it was raining. We stayed about 20 minutes and then left to grab food with some friends.
Side note – I’m typing this on my iPad and I just realized the program I use doesn’t appear to have a word count on it…so no guarantees this is going to be 500 words, ’cause I ain’t counting. Just saying.
So back to it. I felt very connected to my son, and maybe I shouldn’t analyze. Just enjoy. Maybe that’s one of things about being present and mindful, to simply let things be and enjoy. To truly be in the moment. I know I loved it. And I think my son did, too. How do I know? Because when he left he burst into tears. Kinda weird right? But kids don’t have any other way to express themselves. They don’t know how to say, ‘I’m going to miss you’ or ‘I’m sad.’ They just know they are sad and they express their emotions. They are in the moment. They are being present and true to their emotions. What a world it would be if we could all do that. Well, maybe not burst into tears whenever we were sad. But what if it were socially acceptable to do so. That when we were feeling sad we could simply cry. And someone who loved us would hold us close and tell us it was going to be alright.
Instead we, especially men, choke it down. The emotions start in our stomach, wells up through our chest, into our throats and we…we choke it down. We swallow it. We say ‘It doesn’t matter,’ or ‘I’ll be ok.’ Bullshit. I see people every day who have been swallowing the hurt, the pain. I’ve done it myself. I wouldn’t allow myself to feel the hurt that others caused me. Then, one day, someone asked me why I didn’t let it out. My reply was, ‘Because I’m afraid that if I start to let it out, that it will never end.’ His reply? ‘If you don’t let it out, it never will end.’
So I guess my message for the day it, let it out. Find someone who you trust, and let go. Or head out into the woods somewhere and sceam and yell. Just let it go. Like Elsa…
Weird this is where I ended up, but I guess that’s what it is. The message for the day? Work on being. Whatever you’re feeling, feel it. Surround yourself with loving people who care for you. Be true to who you are. Isn’t that what every inspirational blog says? Guess I’m not that original.. Oh well, that’s who I am. And with that, I love you all and good night 🙂
