I woke up this morning wanting to write a piece about acroyoga and I seem to be at a block. Maybe that’s why I have such a hard time actually sitting down and writing, or that I wait until the mood strikes me. Part of it is that I feel rushed for time and part of it is that I want to make sure I do a “good job.” That is an article I hope I would be able to get published, so I don’t just want to rush it, so I guess it makes sense. However, I feel I’m judging myself for not just sitting down and busting it out.
The question that gets me is how to change my writing from stream of thought, like I’m doing here, to getting it more focused. That way when I do sit down to write, I can write a piece of something good and useful. Not all of my writing needs to be good and useful, but there is a part of me that wants to be of use (see yesterday’s post lol).
There is also the judgment on myself of not being a writer. I had a conversation a few months back with someone that started to change how I view myself. I used to consider myself an aspiring writer, meaning I journaled and wanted to start a blog or write a book. From that conversation I got that I AM a writer. My thoughts about myself changed and I began to believe the new story I told myself. From that point, I was able to start a blog and get some good blogs out (at least I think they were good). I even had one published (here). I’m actually pretty proud of that. But my quest, my ideal is to be able and sit down and write something good when I want to, not just when the mood strikes.
A part of what I would like to start doing, and here comes the “It’s so hard I can’t do it crap,” is that I’d like to start blending research into my blog posts. Not so much like I did for my graduate work (not sure I’ll ever want to go that far again), but there is some good, relevant research out there that I feel would be good to make known. I feel it’s hard to do that in a short period of time. And maybe there is some truth to that. So how do I reconcile two things, the feeling that I can’t write quality pieces without a lot of time put in and the feeling that I don’t actually have the time to do this?
I guess I actually sit down and write, kinda like I’m doing here lol. The more you practice something, the better you get at it. That makes sense. Let go of judgements of myself, that I’m not a writer, that I can’t write good things quickly. I am a writer, and a good writer. And I CAN write good pieces quickly (just had to get that self affirmation out). So that leaves trying to get more focused when I do write. I guess that’s what this experiment will be about for me. Making the time to write, and keeping my writing focused on a specific topic. Wish me luck…